“What is the purpose of my life or existence?” – asked many at some point in their life.
I have asked it too, and often. I have also done my homework, looking into the various answers offered by philosophers, thinkers, religions and modern self-help gurus. Unfortunately, I found them to be wanting.
The worst answers are simply a subjective point of view e.g. “to serve others”. The best ones are tautological e.g. “you decide what your purpose is, and then that becomes your purpose”.
What these answers don’t talk about is where purpose originates. It is quite clear that different people lead life with different purposes, and perhaps some with none. It’s not even a binary, as even the ones who lead life with a purpose don’t all have the same level of clarity.
What explains this phenomenon?
My current theory on this consists of two tenets:
- it is not possible for a human being to assign their own purpose;
- purpose is always co-assigned, with people close to the person assigning it and the person accepting it.
This means that to find your purpose, look not just inside. Look at what your loved ones (family, friends, mentor, etc.) have told you. This could be statements about your unique talents and their honest enthusiasm about how those talents can benefit people around you or people in general. Did you at the time agree with them? Accept their assessment? Did you feel deep inside that they were right?
That is the moment where external mirror meets internal truth and purpose (like identity) is formed.
But having a purpose is not about achieving goals. It is about dedicating time and sharing that side of you as best as you can, while taking care of your basic needs. The end result does not matter. Further external validation does not matter, as long as you have clarity on your purpose. That’s because purpose is only the calling for dedication and sharing, not achievement. As long as you do that, you serve your purpose.